Up until now most of my blog posts have centred around the profound effect Tai Chi can have on improving your health. But today I would like to look at the way Tai Chi can help you to grow your self esteem. I have been teaching Tai Chi for a long time and have taught over a hundred instructors. This is not me being boastful, I’m simply making the point that I have observed a lot of people grow mentally stronger, and more self assured, as their training progressed.
Many people come to Tai Chi because they have conditions such as backache, arthritis and stress, which Tai Chi has a well earned reputation for positively helping. Others come just because they have heard it is a fun and gentle, but effective, way to exercise. A third group are attracted because they just have the feeling of being “stuck”. This feeling of being stuck quite often happens in your thirties and forties, when many people feel they have lost their way. The old certainties of your early twenties have been swept aside and replaced with doubt about your course through life. This self doubt can leave you feeling powerless and adrift.
Tai Chi Builds Self Esteem from Within
So, how do you get from feeling self assured, in your twenties, to feeling powerless, in your thirties and forties? Life has a nasty habit of battering you into submission and leaving you feeling below par. You might think that this would leave a person introverted and submissive, but that is not always so. I had a student, who was very talented, named Eric. When he first came to my class he queried everything and was obviously not a happy person. While everyone else was excited to get started on their training, Eric just moaned and questioned. Now I have a lot of patience, but there comes a point when enough is enough, so I told him how the world spins. He was taken aback by my frankness, but strangely compliant. I think he secretly knew he was behaving badly, but just could not help himself. In his professional life he was a heavy hitter. People just didn’t ever put him in his place and sometimes you just need this to get you back on track. I assured him that we knew what we were doing and if he just let go, trust us and went with the program, he would shine.
Self Esteem Grows from Within
We run busy schools with lots of different people to teach and quickly Eric was no longer a pain that you had to deal with every lesson, but a conscientious student. Over time I forgot my initial dealings with Eric as he grew healthier, happier and stronger. Now I just ask him to assist in one of my classes and pass on his knowledge to the new comers. He does so with skill and good humour. He has become more tactful and even respected as a ‘go-to’ person. It was only when my senior assistant commented about the extraordinary change in Eric, and our initial problem, that I remembered. I joshed him about it and he shrugged his shoulders and laughed self consciously and said “I was such a chump when I first came” – I countered “but look what you turned into”. He now belongs, and is respected and admired. But that is not just in our class, but in his professional life too. He had been promoted, increased his salary and holds a senior position in his company. People like him.
Now I am not saying that Tai Chi is a miracle cure, but we have had lots of Eric’s and Erica’s who came feeling lost and insecure and have turned into extraordinary people.
So why does it happen? Inside everyone is something extraordinary waiting to get out. What you need is the right set of disciplines to allow it to happen. It might not be Tai Chi, but Yoga, meditation, mountain climbing, dancing or a million other things, but will have the same set of characteristics.
Discipline Without discipline your mind runs wild and gets you in all sorts of trouble and you start to believe you’re lost.
Acceptance Confucius said “the day you realize how foolish you are is the day you become a wise man (or woman).”
Belonging When you feel you belong to something special, no matter what it is, you feel able to grow and change.
Respect The people who do not respect others also do not respect themselves. At different times in your life, no matter how elevated your status, you must become the student again and listen.
If you feel stuck, or down, find a group who knows what they are doing and have proven results. That might be a church, ashram, Karate school or anything else, and give it a go, listen and learn, be transformed. You owe it to yourself.
Have a very good and happy week,
With deepest respect.
John Hine
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